Biotest

Turning 40 on My Own Terms


#1

Elite FTS has a shirt with three words on it; Prepare. Perform. Prevail.

For the Velocity Diet it may be the perfect mantra. I’m going to keep this journal going for the next month and keep everyone abreast of my Velocity Diet journey.

I do have history with the Velocity Diet. Ive done the original Fat Fast twice and the two previous versions of the Velocity Diet. All four helped me lean out significantly. This time might be different. My ‘before’ results have me beginning at 9.6% body fat on a 211 lb frame. Not bad for a FFB who maxed out at 297 lbs back in the day. Why I’m doing this already lean will be explained when I’m done, 28 days from now. For now I’ll be posting the journey and the lessons it will teach me.

  1. Prepare.

Almost everyone who has failed on a program or diet take this first step for granted. I take it seriously. Here’s what my preparation looked like. It may look simple & silly, but that may be why so few do it.

  1. Ordered all the supplements 10 days before the diet. I live in Canada, so to make sure everything arrived on time, I gave myself a lot of leeway. I ordered my stuff Sunday March 13 it all arrived on Friday March 18. Day one is today (Monday March 21) so this looks like a smart plan already.

  2. I bought everything else I needed. Natural peanut butter, and cashew/hazelnut butter, fibre a few new shaker cups (I now have 6 so no need to worry about washing/rinsing through the day, again simple but easy to overlook).

  3. Strength tests - I don’t want to waste a lot of time in the first week guessing or estimating what my 4 & 8 rep max lifts are, so I tested them all over the weekend. Tonight’s workout should have no guesswork.

  4. I’ve scheduled everything! I’ve looked at the next 4 weeks and tried to predict possible hiccups: birthdays, Easter, road trips, extra work-days etc. If I see it coming and I can plan ahead. I know where & when all my HSM meals are for the next 4 weeks.

  5. Ipod playlist I: Again silly but essential. The NEPA walks will be all about good audio books. I’m starting with Chris’ Iron Radio interview about the pulse fast, then have some cool books to get through (non-fiction- I’m using NEPA as outdoor education time) ‘Book Yourself Solid’, ‘The Artist’s Way’ ‘Lead the Field’ and ‘The Strangest Secret’ to start with

  6. Ipod Playlist II: the workouts. I have a gym mix of 479 song, I press shuffle and get to work. I added the latest from Foo Fighters, Lenny Kravitz, TV on the Radio & Anvil last night.

  7. Supplement prep. Dan John had the great idea of putting everything in baggies, but 3.0 is primarily powdered based so I have my daily shake plan taped to my cupboard and all the supplements I need on the counter directly below it. Pre-NEPA, I mix all the shakes in the shaker cups and fill a 2 L jug of water. I`m ready for my day.

When I do someone elses program I have only one rule; Do as youre told. Even though I`ve done four previous variations of this diet, this is my 1st run doing the newer 3.0 edition. Stick to the plan.

Other significant preparation tactics.

  1. Get off the coffee a week before. This, frankly, sucked ass. I knew for HOT-ROX to work it would be best to get any competing caffeine sources out of my system. I also don’t care for black coffee so I knew I would have to get it out of the program. I started on Monday March 14. Tuesday and Wednesday are two days I’m glad I wasn’t arrested. The rest of the week was ok. I didn’t have my usual energy, but I felt like my brain was burning cleaner. I didn’t start drinking coffee regularly until my early thirties and I notice for me that I get wicked hamstring cramps if I’m taking creatine and drinking coffee every day.
  2. Getting rid of all the other food in the house. This was mostly basics- lots of spinach and avacados, some Jell-O light packets, etc. When I start a program I like to clean house and remove anything not being used on the program. Out of sight, out of mind.
  3. To better cope with the free time I’m going to have by not cooking or prepping food I’ve made a to-do list for the next 28 days and picked out a few books to read and documentaries to watch. Chuck Palahniuk’s ‘Pygmy’ and Evelyn Lau’s ‘Choose Me’ are currently on the bedside table.

Whats NOT on the program, but in mine?

  1. Creatine- see the coffee note above and I’m hoping for a little bit of a pump in the gym for it. I’m an ectomorph and mentally it helps me out on days I look/feel flat.
  2. Se7en- The science behind this is simple… I had a bottle in the house.

#2

and now for the stats -

Height - 6’2"
Weight - 211.2 Lbs

7 Site Jackson/Pollock Body fat test - 9.6%

Lean mass - 190.9 Lb
Fat mass - 20.3 Lb

The other full measurement list will come after the 2nd round of measurement.


#3

Instead of boring you with what my workouts were and the numbers etc… i’ll post my iPod playlists for shit n’ giggles instead.

NEPA Walk #1 -

Iron & Wine -Kiss Each Other Clean,
Steve Stevens -Flamenco A-Go-Go,
Chris Shugart on Iron Radio.

Also listened to John Davies on Iron Radio later in the day.

Workout #1 (‘Gym Mix’ shuffle)

AC/DC -Lets Get it Up
Foo Fighters -Hell
Stryper -Carry on Wayward Son
Lead Belly -Black Betty
Foo Fighters -Monkey Wrench
Anthrax -Taking the Music Back
Iron Maiden -Die With Your Boots On (Live)
Powerman 5000 -Make Us Insane


#4

almost forgot! here’s the pics


#5

back…


#6

side


#7

You look good. I hope the best for you on this trip. Please, either “cut and paste” your story or put up a link. Anybody going through this should see your story.


#8

Alright Dan, you asked for…and you get the loooong version haha!

Part I:

   How did I almost reach three hundred pounds by the age of twenty-one? Believe it or not, it was all due to being a shy kid. Hard to believe, I know. There's no big drama, no childhood tragedy, sorry, no chance of getting on Oprah, just a kid who was really insecure and scared of the world in front of him and let it get the best of him for far too long. 

As a kid I was into sports and doing usual kid stuff, but food seemed to fill whatever insecurities I faced whenever I was forced outside of my comfort zone. At that young age our comfort zone is never too big to begin with, your whole world seems to be the school you go to and the kids within it. You either fit in or you don’t. I didn’t. I was pretty insecure, always feeling like I didn’t measure up, and by the time I was old enough to get interested in girls, it was a full-blown paralysis.

At the age of 13 I had two girls play a cruel joke at my expense, as kids are likely to do. I took the experience as confirmation that I was the ugly, shy, chubby boy who was going to be the butt of girls jokes and hence ‘cashed my chips’ so to speak. I never attended school dances, avoided the school social functions and never even considered asking a girl out my entire high school life. It became so bad and as my inability to break past the insecurity grew that I skipped classes to the point of taking full weeks off of school.

At the end of Grade 12, I was two courses away from the graduation requirements. I never finished them. Instead, in an effort to outrun my insecurities and the complete unknown of the real adult world, I moved 400 kilometers away to Kelowna with a friend. I was 200 pounds when I arrived. My compulsive overeating would grip me in this time and I would be 300 pounds by the time I left three years later.

     I quickly found a job building speedboats, working a night shift, and ended up meeting a girl three weeks after I arrived and was living with her and her parents three months later when my friend decided to move back to Victoria. The thing people never tell you is that there is no way you can help or provide the care for other people and their problems when you can't even face your own. I lacked the social skills to be in a healthy relationship or get out of a relationship gone wrong. I lost myself completely. 

I had no direction and lacked any desire to find one. I have so few memories of those three years; I lived in an utter daze. I found time-consuming hobbies, had again cashed my chips and again turned to food for comfort in a life that lacked a future or purpose. I was in a relationship which I lacked the bravery to end and a dead-end job that I couldn’t quit because I had no other work skills. Eating until four in the morning and not exercising at all along with a debilitating stress lead to a very fast weight gain.

At the age of 20 I thought my life was done, or at the very least pointless, a victim of my own self-pity and weaknesses. When my girlfriend applied to the University of Victoria, I took it as an opportunity to move back there to get a job and have us established before she moved there. In all truthfulness, I was running away again. The weekend before, my aunt was to be married in Vancouver. Little did I know reality would be awaiting my arrival.

      I knew friends and family were looking at me differently. I just didn't know why. I was tired from the four-hour drive, but I had felt a constant exhaustion for a good two years. I had lost touch with family and hadn't even been home for Christmas in two years. I stayed for the wedding, had a lot of pictures taken with family, made an appearance at the reception and went to bed early. The following week I moved into my mother's house until I could find work and a place of my own. Sitting on the kitchen table were photos from the wedding. 

I flipped through them and was shocked at the pictures of some fat guy wearing the same clothes I had been wearing. My jeans looked painted on, yet they were a size 40. I had been living in sweat pants and hockey jerseys for the last couple of years because ‘they were more comfortable’. The pictures made the truth crystal clear. In Kelowna I never owned a scale or had a full-length mirror. I walked up to my mom’s bathroom and stood on the scale. 287 lbs. I figured out why everyone at the wedding was looking at me like someone had just died.

Now, in a movie of the week saga, this is where the star of our film picks up his bootstraps and the inspiring string arrangement of a Rocky movie begins and the montage of transformation begins…

No such luck in this case. Things tend to get worse before they get better I was instead faced with the realization that any dignity or honour I had, or self-respect in myself was gone. I looked at myself and said, “You’re done”. The scariest part was I just didn’t care anymore. Sometimes you have to lose everything before you can find that which matters most to you.

What follows is the most self-destructive part of my life.


#9

Part II:

I started hanging around with some old friends and quickly turned to drowning my self-pity in alcohol. At 300 lbs I could polish off a significant amount of booze I can tell you! The problem being, I was drinking to numb myself enough to get as close to jumping out of my own skin as I could and was still trying to run away from my pain. Sometimes it would take a forty-ounce bottle of rum to do it. Too often I drove home afterward.

Not long after I found alcohol wasnt enough, so I started to smoke a lot of dope to go with it. With inhibitions floating away, but my own indifference fully in control of all my actions, I continued to get behind the wheel of my car only now I had passengers with me. I have forgiven myself of much over the years and laid many of my demons to rest but I pray karma never decides to seek payment for putting my friends at risk in the name of my own self-pity.

To be honest, I had no false hope of losing all that fat. I had never heard of anyone doing losing one hundred pounds before. Remember this was before reality shows, ‘Body-for-Life’ and even the Internet. I waited until dark, put on my dark shorts and an old hockey jersey then I went down my stairs, headed outside and turned for the back roads so no one could watch the fat guy trying to get back in shape. It lasted one block. My heart raced, my blood turned acidic and in less than 30 seconds my body was rejecting whatever I had eaten before I went out the door.

I was locked into the hunched over position I was in, forced to look at my puke and spit on the ground before me. I knew it at that moment; I had let myself go too far. Everything in my head told me to go back on that couch with the potato chips hidden underneath and give up. Fortunately, my body was in no condition to move yet. I was now forced to take stock of what I had done to myself, no choice anymore. Something happened in those five minutes that changed everything. I thought up every excuse to quit, believing every one of them.

Something in my head said 'Go one more block tomorrow and do the same every day, until you can run a marathon". I’m not a religious man whatsoever & I don’t believe it was the voice of God. I also know it wasn’t my voice either. Over the years I’ve come to realize it was the first time I heard the voice of man I wanted to be actually speak on my behalf. I did go out and run two blocks the next day, and yeah it hurt even more.

I had begun to change my behaviors yes, but I still hadn’t adressed the root of my problems and had yet to stop drinking or smoking dope or truly curb my compulsive overeating in response to my emotions of any given day. I did begin to read more about health and exercise and nutrition because I honestly didn’t know anything about it. One thing I did know was that dieting wasn’t going to be the answer.

Firstly, I had never met anyone who had succeeded with a diet and kept it off, and two, ‘dieting was for girls anyways’. The last thing I needed was a fucking meeting with group hugs and handholding. Last I checked that doesn’t burn many calories. And to be quite frank, I had become too tired of being ashamed of myself to listen to anyone else wallow while I was trying to rebuild myself.

Shortly afterwards, I was dating a new girl and was engaged quickly thereafter. She knew I was getting back into shape, but she didn’t know I was still binging as I hid it from her. Hiding food under the couch worked well when unexpected guests arrived, sometimes it was just about finding the time to be alone with your food, not answering the phone was often all it took. Oddly over time I realized that I usually did this with the TV on, and was focused on neither the food, nor what was on the tube.

I was just after the feeling, like an alcoholic after his buzz, mastering the art of running away without moving. It was my secret and despite the fact I was losing weight, I was simply reinforcing old behaviors from high school all over again. My engagement seemed to end as quickly as it had begun. I had felt truly in love for the first time in my life and the loss was devastating at the time. I continued to find solace in my exercising but the food binging, drinking and dope came back in full force. This time the results would cause more pain than I could ever have predicted.

 Again, I was drinking and driving and was ironically hit by a drunk driver one night, while I was drunk behind the wheel also. I received a 24-hour suspension and laughed it off, learning nothing. That all changed in one night. I had invited some friends to my place where we all proceeded to get drunk and stoned as we all usually did. Two of my friends decided to leave to go to a restaurant across town. I knew he was too messed up to drive, but given my reputation of the same irresponsibility, I was in no position to lecture on the danger of drinking and driving. They left. I said nothing.

#10

“To live is to battle with trolls
in the vaults of heart and brain.
To write: that is to sit
in judgment over one’s self.”

  • Ibsen

More to come later…time for the NEPA walk


#11

Are you back yet? Waiting for the rest of the story…


#12

Ten minutes later the phone rang and a sober friend who was following behind their truck called my home. My friend had driven his truck down a back road directly into a telephone pole at highway speed. The passenger went head first through the windshield and into the side of the telephone pole; doctors said it was the equivalent to 400 concussions simultaneously. The driver suffered hideous injuries breaking his legs, hip and pelvis.

Even with the Jaws of Life it took hours to get him out of the vehicle, leaving paramedics unable to attend his injuries. Both survived, both still feel the effects to this day. It would be easy to say it wasn’t my fault and they were responsible for their own actions. I choose not to let myself off that hook. I take full responsibility for my role in what happened that night and itâ??s my cross to bear. This proved true when we were in the hospital waiting room that night.

The passenger’s parents came in shortly after us. These same two people who had insisted I sleep on their couch on weekends so I wouldn’t have to drive home drunk. They never once said ill of me, but the minute they walked thru that door my indifference turned to shame in a heartbeat. I have never been more ashamed of myself than I was that night. I had to finally face that my own indifference and denial had been a part of hurting someone else.

All I can do now is change the behaviour. To this day all my friends know where I’m coming from I’m very blunt in my opinions and I will not keep quiet if one of my friends needs me not to be, I’ll allow the chips to fall where they may. It’s as close to a penance as I could think of. I can’t change my past but I can choose to not repeat it.

Some 15 years later I still carry this with me. If i can pass one piece of advice or a warning it would be this. You will likely be the last person hurt by your self-destructive behaviour. The people who love you and are closest to you suffer far more for it than you realize.

more to come…


#13

Both tragic and inspiring…


#14

[quote]Marzouk wrote:
Both tragic and inspiring…[/quote]

thankfully everyone lived to tell the tale, not without our scars


#15

[quote]BBestUCanB wrote:
Are you back yet? Waiting for the rest of the story…[/quote]

Thanks, I’m glad you enjoy it so far… I’ll keep adding more each day.

How’s progress for you so far?


#16

And now for the Playlists!

NEPA #2 (Tues) - Henry Rollins - Spoken Word Guy 2CD (recorded the day before the Obama/McCain Election)
NEPA #3 (Wed) - Two Episodes of Iron Radio (the first one Chris did, another episdoe with Ian King)

Workout #2 - Gym Mix

Chaos Sapiens - Big Boot
Judas Priest - Killing Machine
Faster Pussycat - Pulling Weeds
KISS - Down on Your Knees
KISS - In the Mirror
Prong - Home Rule
The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary
Ozzy Osbourne - Silver
Alice in Chains - Them Bones
The Hives - Antidote
Lead Belly - Black Betty
Sweet - Hell Raiser


#17

PART IV:

Shortly after the accident I curbed my drinking significantly and quit smoking dope altogether. I then decided it was time to make the marathon a reality. I took the money I had saved for my wedding and bought a plane ticket to Hawaii to train in the unrelenting heat of Diamond Head Mountain outside of Waikiki. To test my determination I ran it at the peak of the afternoon summer heat for almost three weeks. Just as satisfying, I was doing it without a shirt on, facing the demons of the fat and ugly teenager I was and letting them know I would overcome. I was finding pride in myself for the first time; it filled me with hope for myself, yet it felt so foreign at the same time.

 With that new confidence I returned to Victoria and registered for the Seattle Marathon. Three days before the marathon I seriously damaged my knee to the point I could hardly bend it. That alone would have stopped the old me in his tracks. I knew beforehand that I would finish this marathon; I simply never entertained any other possibility. I went to a doctor who told me to rest it for 6-8 weeks. I went for a second opinion. Second doctor said, "Rest it and stay off it for a month". Since I wasn't hearing what I wanted to hear, I went to a third doctor. He said to ice it and keep my runs short to let it heal. Close enough! I packed for Seattle.

  I even decided to make it more difficult for myself; I chose not to do the marathon in my hometown. I chose Seattle, a four hour trip away, so I couldn't back out at the last minute, my best friend drove me there with the promise that if I quit the marathon I would walk home. I intentionally removed any 'cop-out' I could think of, I really didn't want to endure the long trip home in shame if I didn't finish.  The marathon served two purposes. Not only to feel a sense of accomplishment for the very first time in my life, but also to kill the old me, everything he believed in himself and make him suffer as I did it, and to reinvent myself that day. 

It was time to leave that lazy bastard exhausted and dead, gasping for air as I stole it away from him. I knew my old self would have quit, couldn’t handle the pain, and would have rationalized quitting before finishing. I was going to run well past what he could have done; so far he’d be too scared to look back. Then I was going to leave him there stranded, to die, without even enough life to crawl to the closest McDonalds to feel sorry for himself.

   I remember exactly when it happened. Around the 21st mile I 'hit the wall'. This is when the body of a distance runner shuts itself down and stops functioning as depression and despair hits hard and fast. I had suffered 21 miles on a knee that hurt like hell for the first five miles and went completely numb after that. The other knee was killing me from overcompensating. Those last five miles seemed like forever and they were all uphill! Real fear hit me that I may not get through this. I took my baseball cap and covered my face as I cried and struggled on. I didn't break stride, but it was slow run and completely draining me. 

Then I finally clued in, the old Warren was dying, and he was the one who couldn’t go on. It was a relief; I went through the three toughest miles of my life on that day. Then I saw it, the marker that said one mile to go. I knew the old me was dead, I just felt it, I felt so much lighter, and I actually sprinted the last mile (although I’m not sure anyone noticed). I felt free of everything I had ever done to myself before that day. This picture says it all, this is during the final mile, crossing the finish line was almost anti-climactic compared to what had happened just a few miles before.

I grabbed some soup from the vendor and sat on the pavement, breathing air through a different man’s lungs, and listening to the beat of a heart reborn. For the very first time in my life I had set out to accomplish something, and I had done it. I finished in four hours, 12 minutes and 42 seconds at 180 pounds. My life, from that moment, began again. That fat fucker didn’t stand a chance.

More to come…


#18

Awesome story regarding the finish of the marathon. I’ll think of it to get me through my own races.


#19

[quote]Jakeneller wrote:
Awesome story regarding the finish of the marathon. I’ll think of it to get me through my own races.[/quote]

Thanks Jake! Whats the new race?


#20

Haven’t done a marathon yet. Did a half marathon last year and going to do another one May 14. Other than that I’ve done quite a few 5k’s. The last few miles of the 1/2 last year I really hit a wall but felt amazing once I finished.
I sprained my ankle real bad back in Oct. and am still working on getting it back into shape. All the NEPA walking is a slow/good start.