Awesome. Having a partner on the V-Diet can be very helpful – no one sitting around eating tempting things in front of you!
Here’s something I’m working on for the V-Diet book you may find helpful. Hope you don’t mind if I post it here:
The Positive Partnership
Many people choose to do the V-diet with a friend, spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend. This is a great idea. Women thrive in groups or partnerships, from training partners to diet partners. Men do too, especially if there’s an element of competition. Men compete with each other while women tend to support each other. It’s in our base natures.
Couples do well on the V-Diet together too. After all, if you’re having your nineteenth shake of the week while your spouse is having pizza, friction can occur. The V-Dieter may resent the pizza eater, or the pizza eater may resent the V-Dieter for having the willpower to tackle his or her weight problem. But doing the diet together removes all those possible problems, if a positive partnership occurs.
A positive partnership is supportive. It can be supportive via positive pep talks and encouragement, or it can be supportive through the careful use of “tough love.” Some people simply respond better to a verbal butt kicking than hand holding. In a positive partnership, one person will simply keep the other motivated and on track.
The Negative Partnership
Negative training and diet partners are supportive too, just in a counterproductive manner. Negative partners don’t sabotage one another, rather, they work together to rationalize cheating on their diets, skipping workouts, or having lazy workouts.
Their mentality is one of partners-in-crime. If one V-Dieter says she thinks she’s going to skip that day’s NEPA walk, the other may justify this and agree to skip her walk as well. Spouses may justify a weekday cheat meal at a restaurant. This type of negative support is comforting because human beings feel better about negative or destructive behaviors if these behaviors are performed in a group setting, something known as deindividuation in the field of psychology. “You lie to me, I’ll lie to you, and we’ll all be happy” seems to be the motto of these destructive tag-teams.
Obviously, negative partnerships are to be avoided. If you find yourself in one, get out or choose to be the strong member, the one who pulls the other up instead of participating in the downward spiral. As with many of these psychological and social issues, awareness is the key. Once you’re knowledgeable about this pitfall, it should be easy to avoid.