Biotest

Need to Change

I’ve decided to take on the V-Diet because I’m sick of my diet fixations, thinking only of numbers (calories, hours spent on the treadmill, etc) and lacking mindfulness.

I’m looking at this as a mental vacation from nutrition/exercise to focus on other things: school, picking up a hobby or two, listening to my body for once, having a life maybe possibly? I’ve become so obsessed it’s keeping me from accomplishing much, from having any discipline. It’s keeping me from having a life.

I can’t wait to see the physical changes too of course. A couple years ago I was slender but not as firm as I’d like, did some modeling… eventually crashed and burned due to eating too few calories and doing way too much cardio for several months.

Oh, and using stimulants the entire time. I stopped when my doctor diagnosed me with adrenal fatigue in January. I’ve been in a pathetic binge cycle, unable to get back on the wagon, feeling more and more disgust with my figure and lack of self control.

I’m a 22 year old college student earning an AS, planning to major in exercise science, studying for the NSCA exam and working at Starbucks. I work opening shifts on weekends plus the occasional weekday afternoon/evening. Keeps me active, especially since I usually walk to/from work as well (1/2 mile each way.)

I’m starting bright 'n early tomorrow. Feeling nervous and excited, not quite ready, but I NEED to make a change.

Keep us posted, Tifa. If you have any specific questions for me, be sure to post them in the Ask Chris thread so I’ll be sure to see them.

Tifa, I’m kinda like you in the respect that I was always obsessing about the numbers, this amount of calories, this amount of exercise and it had to be EXACT. Turned out it did me more harm than good - I ended up getting squidgy around the edges. One of my reasons for doing thw V-Diet was to change that and, on day 24, I can say I feel very differently to how I feel before.

Good luck with your journey and if you are anything like me - it will change you.

Chris - Thanks, I’ve been skimming that thread and have most of my questions answered.

Alli - I know what you mean about being EXACT. I look back and can’t believe how neurotic I became sometimes. Glad to hear about your positive changes and hope they happen for me too!

Day 1 is going well. Haven’t slipped up yet, which can be very easy to do at work.

Taking my measurements this morning helped keep me mindful… cringe I haven’t even stepped on the scale in about a month.

Height: 5’ 4.5"
Weight: 139.2 lbs
Neck: 13"
Waist - at navel: 29.75"
Waist - at largest: 36.75"
Hips - at largest: 39.5"
Upper Arm - L: 11.5"
Upper Arm - R: 11.5"
Upper Leg - L: 23.25"
Upper Leg - R: 23.25"

I also took pictures, and lame as it is, I’m going to wait for progress before I post them. It pisses me off too much that I allowed my tiny waist to get so thick!

I took a long nap yesterday, maybe because of my weird weekend schedule, maybe because of this diet? Or both. In any case, it was nice to not have a sink full of tupperware to clean! Day 2 is starting off well.

Chocolate MD with instant coffee tastes better than a frappuccino! Not that I’m a big fan of them anyway. Nice way to start the morning.

Can’t wait to tackle my first workout. I’m starting off with the intermediate program. After that I’m going straight to work for a 6 hour shift, then to a store meeting from 7-9 tonight. Shittons of NEPA, hurray! About two miles walked plus work.

I’ve been taking Se7en and Rez V for almost a month already, and have added Carbolin 19-19 to the mix. I prefer coffee over a stimulant pill any day.

I felt tired and lightheaded yesterday and feel the same this morning. Otherwise I’m plodding along okay.

Hi Tifa, I know exactly where you’re coming from as well with the over attentiveness to detail with regards to diet & exercise!

I’m on day 9 now, so you’re not far behind me - as long as you stay focused you’ll be fine.

Glad I’m not the only one!

I just had to cheat and take a peak at my waist measurement… it’s already down to 35" at largest. Holy shit, Batman!

I won’t peak at anything else until Saturday. It’ll be like Christmas!

It’s funny how the world opens up when your obsession is out of the picture.

Since I’m on the V-Diet for the next 20-odd days I haven’t had any interest in looking up the latest in fat loss news, scouring websites for this-or-that new supplement or Superfood, making new plans for next week, responding to some stressful event/change in my life that triggers me to binge. I’m finally sticking to something and seeing results already. Strangely, I have waaaay less interest in fitness now.

I’ve come to realize that I just want to look great naked and help others do the same. I don’t particularly care about all the details, as fascinating as they are. I’ll still get my NSCA-PTC but I don’t feel eager to go further. I don’t want to major in exercise science.

I’m far more interested in the mind. Even in things that don’t apply to me. I should be going with psychology after all (I’d always debated back and forth.) Now that I’m allowing myself to think things through and not go distract myself with comfort food… because change and fear of disapproval are triggering for me… I’ve realized that I’ve just been my people-pleasing self, going into exercise science because my fiance applauds that the most (he wishes he’d gone into it instead of math.) I’m terrified that he’ll disapprove.

I plan to be a trainer and a psychologist. If I had to choose just one, I’d be a psychologist. It’s time for me to push the fear aside and go forth with what I want out of life. The disapproval stuff is probably all in my head anyway.

I’ve been mistaking obsession for passion. Glad I caught onto that before I got in too deep.

My ass is still sore from Wedensday! Ow.

Still going strong, seeing some awesome changes in the mirror! I was able to wear an old tank top yesterday out in the sun… haven’t fit into it for two years. I’ll definitely be posting some progress pics tomorrow.

Yesterday I felt faint in this heat… yeah I’m a wussy Washingtonian who passes out in 85 degree weather. A low calorie diet doesn’t help. At least all my meals are icey cold! I sat in the sun for a little bit with an iced tea, which surprisingly woke me up a little. I haven’t tanned in months… lacking vitamin D maybe?

I stared down my usual cravings yesterday… all for sugary carbs. I won’t deny feeling hungry at some point every day, but the intense craving for carbs boggles me a little. I didn’t have class or work, and have no homework at the moment, so boredom was sinking in pretty deep… Stuffing my face with crap is usually how I stay occupied? Wow. I never realized just how sad that is.

I’ve also been having the odd calf cramp. Due to lack of sodium I’m assuming?

Wow! I’m impressed by the progress I’ve made in just one week! I know that these kinds of numbers won’t happen every week, but still, it’s an encouraging start.

Weight: 139.2 lbs - 132 lbs
Neck: 13" - 12.75"
Waist - at navel: 29.75" - 28"
Waist - at largest: 36.75" - 35"
Hips - at largest: 39.5" - 38"
Upper Arm - L: 11.5" - no change
Upper Arm - R: 11.5" - no change
Upper Leg - L: 23.25" - 22.5"
Upper Leg - R: 23.25" - 22.5"

I have to run off to work, but will post pics later. They don’t do much justice to what I can see (and what my fiance can see!) but they show a little something.

A couple things I’ve noticed though: I never realized just how many breath mints I use each day. On this diet I’ve become painfully aware of every little thing I consume, and I’ve noticed how I tend to use a mint after every meal except dinner, after which I always brush my teeth. In the morning I’ll sometimes brush, sometimes use a mint if I’m in a rush. No more of that! I got a travel tooth brush, paste and a small mouthwash so I can properly care for my teeth when I’m out.

I’ve also noticed that just yesterday and today, I’ve been feeling way more full on these shakes. I’m having a hard time finishing my first one this morning. Here I was looking forward to an extra shake today (I’m doing Friday’s weight training - didn’t have time yesterday) and then a delicious HSM tomorrow after the VBurn challenge, but now the thought of solid food kinda scares me - like I’ll get sick or bloated?

Start -> End of Week 1

Finally some pics… Sorry for the weird angle on this one… it doesn’t show much difference to me. I’m fitting into shirts I haven’t been able to wear in a couple of years, so f*ck what the pics say.

Front…

Back…

I keep getting intense cravings. I actually made a brownie with my 2 scoops of chocolate MD and peanut butter last night just to chew on something (besides the fiber tablets!) I guess one good thing is that my cravings are turning more to the healthy stuff… like an omelett. I would KILL for an omelett right now… packed with veggies and pepper…

coughs I’m also having mood swings. Very unusual for me. Or is it? Usually I would turn to cheat foods and binging when feeling stressed… but on this diet I’ve had to face these feelings more. I’ve found other ways to deal, like busting out my viola or drawing (haven’t done either in years.)

As I mentioned in the Ask Chris thread, I haven’t had a cycle in about 4 months. I only noticed days ago when I saw a box of tampons in the bathroom… I realized that they were the ones I bought when we last moved and that I haven’t touched them.

My mood swings being more intense and frequent may be relevent. I want to keep going with this diet, just to finish what I’ve started. I’m still concerned about whether I’m making my situation worse… or if a few more weeks is really going to matter? And furthermore, given the circumstances, am I setting myself up for a rebound?

If anyone has any insight, I’d love to hear it.

It’s been such a busy week with more work hours and finals. Yesterday I turned in my psych final, where I did an analysis of Jack/Tyler from Fight Club. Definitely the most fun I’ve had so far with homework.

Now this is unexpected… My cycle started this morning. I honestly wasn’t expecting that! I guess there’s hope for my poor abused metabolism after all.

My cravings are finally starting to go away, at least when I’m at home. Yesterday I went to the store for more peanut butter, which sent my mind into an almost pornographic fantasy land of all the delicious things I wanted to binge on. It didn’t help that there were sweet little samples everywhere. I didn’t touch a thing.

Looking forward to my next HSM though! It will either be lunch or dinner on Sunday. Preferably lunch. I’m thinking broiled chicken breast, broccoli and mashed sweet potatoes with cinnamon.

Very disappointing update… but I have to put all the blame on that time of the month.

Weight: 132 lbs - 132.2 lbs - due to my period?
Neck: 12.75" - no change
Waist - at navel: 28" - 28.25"
Waist - at largest: 35" - 36"
Hips - at largest: 38" - 38.5"
Upper Arm - L: 11.5" - no change
Upper Arm - R: 11.5" - no change
Upper Leg - L: 22.5" - 22.75"
Upper Leg - R: 22.5" - 22.75"

Not doing pics… I just look the same, if not bloated. Why did I want my stupid cycle back, again? Oh yeah… that whole being healthy thing… >_>

[quote]Tifa wrote:
Very disappointing update… but I have to put all the blame on that time of the month.

Weight: 132 lbs - 132.2 lbs - due to my period?
Neck: 12.75" - no change
Waist - at navel: 28" - 28.25"
Waist - at largest: 35" - 36"
Hips - at largest: 38" - 38.5"
Upper Arm - L: 11.5" - no change
Upper Arm - R: 11.5" - no change
Upper Leg - L: 22.5" - 22.75"
Upper Leg - R: 22.5" - 22.75"

Not doing pics… I just look the same, if not bloated. Why did I want my stupid cycle back, again? Oh yeah… that whole being healthy thing… >_>[/quote]

I wouldn’t sweat it, alot of it is probably hormonal water retention. You had great results the first week so just power on to next week and it’ll be fine.

I echo what pch2 says,just keep up the great work.The diet works (we all know that)so just stay focused.It wouldn’t surprise me if this week you saw huge results.Take care