Biotest

Mashed Fauxtatoes


#1

[center] Mashed Fauxtatoes [/center]
[center] [/center]
“White potatoes are crapola,” writes Dr. Jonny Bowden.

I agree… for the most part. But it’s a little hard for me to hate on a natural plant product. I mean, a white potato may be seen by the body as “a big blob of sugar” according to Bowden, but it ain’t exactly a doughnut.

You’ve probably heard me categorize certain foods as “better bad.” These are food products that are ever-so-slightly improved, but still sucktastic. I recently saw a commercial for 50% less sugar orange juice. Better than regular, sugary, fiberless orange juice? I suppose. But still bad. Still not something I’m going to put into my body. The commercial should state that it’s “50% less shitty!” How about, “…will still make you fat, but 50% slower than before!” But I digress…

A potato isn’t “better bad” exactly, more like “less good.” And if you make mashed potatoes out of them then you just concentrate that “less goodness” into downright badness. That’s why I always eat fauxtatoes: mashed cauliflower.

Serve this to 100 carb-lovin’ dinner guests and I’ll bet you that 50% of them won’t even realize they’re not eating potatoes. And 100% will love it. Check it out:

[center] Mashed Fauxtatoes with Spinach [/center]
The Stuff

Two bags frozen cauliflower (or the equivalent of fresh)
4 ounces fat-free cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup omega-3 butter (or to taste), softened
Salt, pepper and herbs & spices of your choosing (parsley and a hit of cayenne work for me, as does a dash of garlic salt)
Handful or two of frozen chopped spinach

Putting it All Together

  1. Steam, boil or microwave cauliflower until tender. (Steaming keeps the cancer-fighting properties of cauliflower intact; boiling not so much.) Smash and drain off excess water. Place in food processor or bowl.

  2. Microwave spinach until soft, squeeze off excess water, toss in food processor.

  3. Add cream cheese, butter, salt, pepper, and herbs of choice.

[center] [/center]
3. Mash well by hand or give it all a pulse in your food processor. Pulse until very smooth or leave a bit rustic (chunky) if you prefer. And I prefer.

Options

Tons of variations here. Just use whatever herbs and spices you like. Skip the spinach if you want a more pure, mashed potatoes experience. Add a diced chipotle pepper and a little adobo sauce for kick.

Give this one a spin and let me know how you tweak it below. – Chris


#2

And here’s a pic of fauxtatoes without the spinach.


#3

Chris, this is awesome. I can’t wait to make a low-carb Shepherd’s Pie with some “fauxtatoes.”

I transition off of the V-Diet this week, so I am in the process of planning healthy options I can cook in bulk on the weekends and eat throughout my work week. This looks like a winner. Works either with a Shepherd’s Pie or as a filling side option to go with some meat and some greens.


#4

Saw these on your “What Chris Eats” Thread. Went to get some colli to experiment. Made them last night… amazing. Really a great recipe. So delicious. I cant believe its not potatoes (Fabio Voice)

Gonna start doing a cooking night with a few friends to learn more and teach, this is going on the menu for the first one.

Thanks


#5

[quote]Chased1k wrote:

Gonna start doing a cooking night with a few friends to learn more and teach, this is going on the menu for the first one.

[/quote]

That’s a very cool idea.


#6

I don’t own a food processor and I seem to have misplaced the cord for my steamer, so creating this dish was a huge pain in the ass. Nevertheless, well worth it. I was able to get something close to mashed potato consistency by mashing up the ingredients and throw in small batches of the mixture into my blender. Patience.


#7

Just made garlic parmesan Fauxtatoes with broccoli.

Definitely not low cal, but maybe the thermic effect of the broccoli will compensate for it a little.


#8

Made this tonight, but without the spinach. Great recipe. Wife even liked it and she was very skeptical at first.


#9

[quote]Soulja wrote:
Made this tonight, but without the spinach. Great recipe. Wife even liked it and she was very skeptical at first.[/quote]

Try it with broccoli instead of cauliflower next time. Killer.


#10

I just made this tonite myself. Did the plain version, but dumped in a man’s portion of garlic. Phenomenal. Next time I may try my arch nemesis, broccoli, over the cauliflower.


#11

[quote]u r bunk wrote:
I just made this tonite myself. Did the plain version, but dumped in a man’s portion of garlic. Phenomenal. Next time I may try my arch nemesis, broccoli, over the cauliflower. [/quote]

Half and half is good too.

Rutabaga as well. Same basic recipe.


#12

[quote]Chris Shugart wrote:
Two bags frozen cauliflower (or the equivalent of fresh)
[/quote]

I have to laugh at this Chris. You are the same dude that talked about the ambiguity of a “medium bowl” in recipes?

I have two bag types of cauliflower in my freezer right now. 4 lbs bags and 12 oz bags. There are also 1 lbs and 2 lbs bags, that I know of, in the freezer section of my local Safeway. Now, I know which one of these I should use, but what is the point of putting measurements on all the other ingredients if the main ingredient amount is left open to interpretation? Just sayin’ :slight_smile:


#13

[quote]Icarus wrote:

[quote]Chris Shugart wrote:
Two bags frozen cauliflower (or the equivalent of fresh)
[/quote]

I have to laugh at this Chris. You are the same dude that talked about the ambiguity of a “medium bowl” in recipes?

I have two bag types of cauliflower in my freezer right now. 4 lbs bags and 12 oz bags. There are also 1 lbs and 2 lbs bags, that I know of, in the freezer section of my local Safeway. Now, I know which one of these I should use, but what is the point of putting measurements on all the other ingredients if the main ingredient amount is left open to interpretation? Just sayin’ :slight_smile:
[/quote]

I’m clearly talking about the 20 pound bags at Costco! If you ain’t feeding an army, you ain’t really cookin’!

Sorry, it’s easy to write this kind of stuff with a bias based on where you shop. My local store has one size bag: 1 pound.

So, about 2 pounds for this recipe.