Going Through a Grind

Like the title say…and its realllyyyy bad,i cant keep questioning myself like,why am i doing?I’m trying to find reason to eat a little more,heck lately i had a tad more peanut butter,calorie wise its insignificant but,doesnt matter if its 5cal or 500cal,I have to follow the diet.

I keep telling myself the transition phase is soon to come,August 9 to be precise but I also feel bad like,when i push myself too hard,im tired ,duh but, im also very irritable and i got such good friend at work and i hate myself for loosing my patience with them but,who am i to complain, I’m not the one doing 16hours shift yet i’m the one complaining. Just so you know, i mostly work as a orderly on a psych ward and lately its been extremely heavy,pager keeps ringing for emergency in emerge,trauma you name it,lots of arguing with the patients.

Im not doing as much NEPA as i was doing and my mood improved,i give my 110% when its a workout day and if i can,ill squeeze some NEPA on a incline treadmill at 6.5-6.7km/h for 20minutes.

I dread the V-burn, Wanted to go to the gym this morning,but upon waking i pulled my calf(you know,when you find yourself going ‘aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh ouchhh’ with no sound!) So i tried to do some DB complex,my home DB are too heavy to get a good cardio effect so i tried doing the v-burn…stopped at 3rounds,i sometimes adapt the’‘all or nothing’’ and then tap myself on the back like’ oh well,at least i did something,now stay away from the peanut butter till after work(my last meal) sure,Today I will do extra NEPA,walk from work to my apart.

Well you know what,right now my calf is alright and I want to go for a run,its not on the training plan but i want to do it,it will clear my mind,tomorrow is another day. The change is gonna come and im is architect.

So i went for my run yesterday,felt good, felt right! Then i had a nice tuna steak with some scallops,home made prune sauce and whole lot of spinach and home made miso soup(gonna work on this one some more) overall pretty satisfied!! Today I will,there now i dont have a choice! I will re-follow my diet as close as possible.

Picture of the said goody!!

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