Don’t know if anyone reads this, but thought I should try.
Starting the V-Diet today; M, 5,11, 252.0lbs. I will take some measurements later to post. My goal is 20lbs or really to get touch 230lbs. I have been going to the gym pretty regularly for years. Last 2-3 months I have finally gotten a personal trainer - a really good one at a really good gym.
I feel like I am for the first time training for real. Training is painful, and I am working on the ability to work through the pain - not to injury, but to be able to find the place where I can look beyond everything telling me I can’t do anymore.
I don’t have a fanatical hope or belief in this diet. Yes, I want it to work, yes there are other things that can/have worked in the past. The diet seemed radical enough that it will knock me out of my habits long enough to see some kind of progress. I don’t think (I have a weekly weight log going back several years) I have gotten below 230 - maybe once in college I did. I have always been overweight. As a kid you don’t think about it too much, and I never had the help or guidance to prevent it - I was told I will “grow out of it.”
Maybe in college when I really was training, seeing progress, etc. I could have kept it going, but that was also the start of the battle with crippling long-term depression. Maybe I will work through that in the log.
I am fighting lots of battles. Blame the depression, but I am not looking to win, I don’t see any real reward. Weight is one of the few things where I have the potential to have control over something in my life. The gym also seems like a place where the look of horror on my face can be attributed to a heavy lift and not inner turmoil. I am in a particular moment of crisis now, and praying it does not get worse - my fallback position is not a polite one to express.
Let’s see how I do.