[center]Attempted Murder. And Breakfast. [/center]
My mother was trying to kill me, that much was clear.
Just ten years old and soon to be a victim of filicide. I wondered if they’d put my death on America’s Most Wanted: The Case of the Murdering Mom!
I’d become famous. Dead, but famous. Like Elvis.
Mom’s weapon of choice was breakfast. She’d call me into the kitchen on weekend mornings and there it was, laid out on the table: an arsenal of eggs, bacon, and sausage. I’d stand there looking at it like a man examining the knot of his own noose.
Finally, she’d tell me to sit down and eat before my so-called food got cold. Afraid that she’d just backflip over the kitchen bar like a ninja and snap my neck with nunchucks if I didn’t comply, I did as I was told. I imagined her sneaking glimpses at me as she washed dishes – the assassin watching to see if her poison was taking effect.
But I was on to her. I’d been taught at school and by the nice people that make cereal commercials that a nutritious breakfast consisted of cereal, juice, milk, and toast with jelly. Meat was bad. Eggs were bad. And dietary fat was so bad that it only occupied the smallest segment of the indubitable food pyramid.
In order to counteract the poison that was Saturday morning breakfast, I’d spend the rest of the week eating nutritious breakfasts like Apple Jacks with orange juice and toast (topped with cinnamon and sugar of course.)
The antidote seemed to work. I evaded the homicidal plots of my mother and counterbalanced her ominous omelets with vitamin fortified cereal and bread.
I lived. I became a chubby little bastard for some odd reason, but I lived.
Everything Changes… And Stays the Same
Poor mom. Turns out her breakfasts were probably a whole lot healthier than the sugar/flour bombs pushed onto us by sleazy food manufacturers and questionable government officials. Sadly, not much has changed in that <a href="http://tnation.tmuscle.com/free_online_forum/diet_blog_hammer_velocity_shugart/consumer_guard_dog_part_iii"target=“new”>department.
Luckily, I’ve changed from chubby kid to athletic adult, due in large part to breaking most dietary “rules” that trickle down from cereal makers, politicians, and fat-denying dieticians.
For example, my favorite weekend breakfast is full of good fats (gasp!), high in protein (oh, my kidneys!) and low in carbs (how will I ever have any energy!)
I first wrote about the unfortunately named frittata <a href="http://www.tmuscle.com/article/diet_and_nutrition/5_lessons_in_hardcore_cookin&cr="target=“new”>HERE, but this is a better recipe, designed to get you lean and support muscle growth and proper hormone levels. Check it out:
[center]Cast Iron Frittata [/center]
6 or 7 omega-3 eggs (from flaxseed-fed chickens)
1 tablespoon of omega-3 enriched butter or can of Pam cooking spray
1 small onion, diced or sliced (pre-chopped & frozen is fine)
A few sliced Portobello mushrooms or your choice of 'shroom
1 or 2 avocados
Big bunch of spinach leaves
3 to 4 tablespoons of sour cream
Fresh ground pepper and pink sea salt
Herbs and spices of your choice (I used dried rosemary and coriander seeds, but basil, parsley and just about anything else works.)
First, get a good cast iron pan (Lodge brand, preseasoned, is my favorite) or any oven-safe pan. Cast iron is awesome because it can go right from stovetop to oven, plus you get a good forearm workout just cooking with it and cleaning it.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Mix your eggs with the sour cream, salt, pepper, and herbs and spices of choice.
Get the fire going under your cast iron pan for a few minutes, then add your butter or Pam. Add onion and cook until translucent.
In another pan, wilt your spinach down and squeeze it dry. (Or just unthaw frozen spinach and squeeze dry.)
Add about half the mushrooms to the cast iron pan, the garlic, and all the spinach. Toss it all together for a minute or two.
Pour in the egg mixture and top with the rest of the mushrooms and the avocado. Kill the heat under the pan.
Transfer pan to the 450 degree oven and cook for 6-7 minutes. You’ll want to take it out when the center is still a little giggly since eggs continue to cook after they’re off the heat. They’ll “set” in a few minutes after you take them out.
Let cool a bit, then slice into pie-shaped segments and serve. Or just eat it out of the pan like I do.
Ideas and Options
Any vegetable works here. My favorite variation is using asparagus, which is how this recipe is made in some fancy restaurants. Add some lemon zest and chives to it if you try that.
Go crazy with the dried herb and spice variations. A millions options here, and it’s hard to go wrong. If you’re not much of a cook and don’t have a spice rack full o’ goodies, just pick a Mrs. Dash flavor.
I use fat-free sour cream. Seems weird, I know, but I like to pick and choose my fats. So, whole eggs from flax-fed chickens, yes. The extra calories from full-fat sour cream, no thanks. You can even make this with egg whites if that suits your dietary needs. That would drop the total calories too if you need it.
Frittatas like this are great re-heated. Make one at night and have it for breakfast for the next three days.
Enjoy this one over the weekend. And hey, make one for your mom too. She’s probably less murderous than you thought.