I seem to be reading a classic problem with people on this program. You are not controlling your mind. If you wallow about in self pity wishing you could eat this or that then you will fail. Part of the plan is to find something to keep you busy. Sitting around dreaming about eating peanut butter tonight or dreading the next 20 days is destructive.
Keep out of the kitchen.
Remove EVERYTHING from you domain that is not on your diet, namely anything that is not a protein powder, suppliments or nut butter. That includes chocolate! Put it in a box (or bunch of boxes) and leave it all at a friends place. If that is not practical (i.e. because you live with soneone that is not on the same diet as you) then keep all your food in a separate place from everything else. (i.e. put it all in a box in another room so you are not opening the pantry to get it or the fridge with all that other stuff and then KEEP OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!)
Whenever you find yourself thinking about food force your mind away onto something else, preferably something that you like or that gives you a good feeling. Think about seeing your abs! Think about all the clothes you can go buy for your new body. Think about your weight loss goal (i.e. 20lb) then try to see how many things you know of or are around you that weigh that much and imagine a pile of fat the same weight next to it.
Don’t dwell on how many days there are to go or hours in the day or meals. Just focus on getting to the next meal time (and you do have set meal times, right?). If you start to feel weak in resolve then get up and do something. Walk to the nearest post box. Pack up any rubbish you have and walk it to the nearest public rubbish bin. Turn off the TV (you know, that thing that you used to EAT in front of every night) and go buy a book, any book, and read it. Find something that belongs to a friend that you have and return it and have a cup of green tea with them. There are a million things to do to keep your mind busy, just avoid the TV and the computer.
A contestant on the Biggest Loser once said something very profound. They said that they learnt not to be so soft with themselves. Fat people are not tough. They are weak. They give into themselves like a mother with a spoilt child. Going for a walk up a set of stairs will not kill you. Not eating crap will not kill you.
So, man up (or woman up!!) and enjoy the success of waking each morning having met yesterdays goals.
You can do it. You are no different that any one else on this forum.